Vonnie

 

 

When: September 2006 to January 2007

Status: Married 12 years, two kids

Occupation: Stay-at-home mom

Meetings: 26

Age: 34
Quotable:  "Lunch and sex breaks up a day nicely."

I first met Vonnie around the middle of August of 2006. One day, I had just come back from a meeting with a client and stopped by our mailbox. I spotted this gorgeous woman getting her mail. We nodded a hello to each other and were both on our way. She seemed friendly and I loved her smile (and her ass).

The next day, I showed up around 1:15 to see if I could "accidentally" run into her again. I waited for a half hour, but she never showed. And the fucking apartment complex had hundreds of tenants and several different buildings and areas.

But Rome wasn't built in a day (it took over two months just to get the building permits alone), so I figured I'd give it a couple more shots and be done with it. Sometimes violating a married woman just isn't meant to be (no matter how noble it is.....).

The next day I showed up at 1:00 and just waited. And at 1:30, I saw her walking up. When I saw her enter the mail area, I got out of my car and went to get our mail. She was unlocking her mailbox as I arrived at mine and as I turned the key, she looked over and said, "Hello again."

Awesome. An opportunity to talk.   AND an opportunity to reference the great Neil Diamond!  

Neil, do "Forever In Blue Jeans" next!

"Hello. How are you doing?"
"Oh, fine I suppose. How are you?"
"Good, thank you.  I just beat up Rory Mcilroy and fucked a leprechaun." 

Sorry.

She thumbed through her mail and then looked up again.

"So do you work at night or something?"
"Self-employed. I have a home office."
"Nice."
"What do you do?"
"I used to work in retail but I stay at home with the kids now."
"How old are they?"
"Seven and nine."

We ended up talking for another few minutes until she had to leave.

"Nice meeting you.....?"
"Ryan."
"My name's Vonnie."
"Nice meeting you."
"You too. Hope to see you again."
"Yeah, me too."

I didn't see her the next day. I had to meet one of my attorneys about a project. But the day after that, I went down and waited again. And there she was.

"Hello again."
"Hello."
"So, good to see you again."
"Likewise."

Sadly, I don't think Neil has a song called "Good To See You Again."  That sucks.

This time, we chatted for about half an hour. She lived a few buildings away from our apartment and had moved into the complex with her husband and kids a few months earlier. Her husband worked as a technician for a cellular company and had been transferred to Georgia. 

"Where are you from?"
"Mason, OH. About a half hour from Cincinnati."
"I know that town. The ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) holds a tournament there every year."
"Oh, yeah. We've been to that a few times."


By the way, I know the word "stalking" has probably popped into your head by this point.  I don't consider what I did to be stalking.  I consider it be....uh.....taking the opportunity to create a coincidental meeting.  Yeah.   

We continued to meet at the mailboxes over the next couple of weeks. One morning in early September, we met at our usual place and talked for a bit.

"So what do you have going on today?"
"Not too much. Housework. You?"
"Got a lot of work done today, so I figured that I'd grab some lunch."
"Sounds nice. Where you going?"
"Tampico's. Been there?"
"No."
"Care to come with?."

Just a harmless invitation to lunch, right?  She thought about it for a few seconds and said, "Yeah. That'd be nice. I'm kind of bored with the kids in school and all."  

We hopped into my van--remember, vans are cool, and people who drive them are cool and if you disagree,  you're like, stupid and stuff--and we drove down and had a great lunch. We really hit it off.

We ate and talked for about an hour and a half, then I drove her back up to the complex so she could pick up her car. As she got out, she said, "Thank you so much for lunch. It was so nice to have someone to talk to. Next time, I take you out."

That's right, Poacher Nation!  There would be a next time.  And you know why?  Because I'm just that evil and manipulative fun to be around (hey, Alex is right; that strike through feature is really cool).

I took out my business card and wrote my personal email address on it and handed it to her. She took out a piece of paper out of her purse and wrote her email address on it.

I took it and when I saw it was a Yahoo address, asked, "Is this your Messenger I.D."? She nodded and I said, "I'll send an add request." "Cool.  See you later, Ryan."

The rest of the day was pretty boring. None of my playmates were available, so I just jacked off to some lesbian porn worked and completed some projects. That night, I sent my add request and immediately got one back.

Very cool.

I PM'd her and said hello and we ended up chatting for an hour. Finally, she had to go to bed and said, "See you tomorrow at the mailboxes?" "You bet. Noon?" "Sounds good."

The next day, I pulled up to the mailboxes. As soon as my van came to a complete stop, Vonnie walked up to the passenger side. I unlocked the door and she climbed in. I didn't really know what she was up to; we hadn't planned anything.

"Chili's sound good? My turn to take you to lunch."

We made the short trip to Chili's and had another great lunch. Vonnie was a blast to talk with, even more fun to look at, not that I place a great emphasis on looks, of course.  I'm deeper than that.

Cough cough.

We finished and when we got back into my cool van, Vonnie said, "Can we talk for a couple of minutes before heading back?"  Then turned to me and smiled and said, "So...is this leading somewhere?" and laughed.

"My intentions are strictly honorable.  I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Yeah, right, liar. So ever cheated?"
"Well, it's not cheating if the wife approves."
"Ah...one of THOSE marriages, huh?"
"Yeah....one of THOSE marriages."
"I wouldn't mind that......"
 "Ever talk to him about it?"

"No....doubt he'd go for it....."

We were quiet for a moment and then Vonnie said, "Well, if we're going to do this, let's go back to my place. Or your place. I don't care."

So we went back and I parked my van by the mailboxes and we took her car over to her place. 

We walked in and went straight to the bedroom.  She kissed me and said, "I have to run to the bathroom.  Make yourself comfortable."

I assumed that she meant for me to get naked, so, hey, I did.  Then I stretched out on the bed and saw a picture of her husband.  

Hey, dude, I'm about to have sex with your wife.  What are YOU going to do about it?

Nothin'.  That's what. 

She came out and saw me and looked at a hard Mr. Happy and said, "I like that--ready to go!"  She got undressed and crawled on top of me and we started kissing.  I helped her stay in place by placing a firm grasp on her ass with my hands.  I try and be helpful whenever possible.

A couple of minute later, she said, "You gonna let me move down?"  I released my grip and she kissed her way down my chest and stomach until she reached you-know-who.

That's right.  The artist currently known as Mr. Happy.

And Vonnie made Mr. Happy very happy.  I didn't want to interfere, so I just let Vonnie do her thing (I'm really cool like that) for a couple of minutes.

But while it's fun to just receive, I guess giving does have it's rewards.  So I told Vonnie to move her hips around and....well, let's just make it quick and say we started 69ing.

Having a little fun behind the apartment complex.

And she continued to blow me and I ran my tongue up and down her lips.  Mutual giving rules.

After a few minutes (I can't tell you exactly how long; I didn't have my stopwatch), Vonnie came and got up.

"You got a....."
"Headache?"
"No, condom."
"Oh.  In my wallet."
"Still in high school, huh?"
"Yes.  I'm never going to leave, either."

She rolled her eyes and laughed and got out the latex love glove and unrolled it onto Mr. Happy.  Then she crawled into bed and laid down with her back next to me and raised her leg up.

"This is my favorite position."

Fucking pushy, man.  But okay.....

I slid right in, and she groaned a little and put her leg back down.  

I like this spoon-fuck type of position.  Much like the doggy position, I can hold off cumming for quite a bit (instead of the usual 22 seconds).  And it gives me lots of time to reach around and play with a woman's breasts.  I mean, to turn her on, not because I like playing with breasts.  As you know, I'm all about my partner's needs.

Cough cough.

We continued in this position for about ten minutes, with Vonnie cumming twice.  Finally, she got up and pushed me onto my back.

She reached down and took off the condom and proceeded to start jacking me off.  This woman had some mad hand job skills and soon had me cumming.  

"That was great.  Now get out."

She was joking around, so I figured I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Something I said?"
"I gotta go get my kids."
"Let them walk home."

She laughed and said, "Maybe next time.  Thanks, honey.  I think we're going to have fun together.  Just promise me to be discreet?"

"Sorry.  You had to ask that BEFORE we got nakey."
"Shut up and get dressed, dork."

We continued to meet, sometimes at her place, sometimes at mine.  The next time we got together, I even--all together now--took her to the pilot.  

This will sound strange, because Vonnie was gorgeous, and had a decent personality and sense of humor, but there was nothing really special about this particular affair.  I liked her well enough, but she was nobody I would have dated (had we both been single).   We just never clicked.  The sex was great, but it wasn't like I ever particularly relished the idea of staying around and chatting which, aside from a couple of nights at a hotel, didn't happen too often.

BUT....to quote Jerry Seinfeld, "she IS a woman" (that quote is from the Donna Chang episode).  And she was a pretty woman who was willing to have sex with me.  And that, fellow poachers, is just fine with me. 

We continued to get our groove on--as you young whippersnappers might say--until January (luckily, we had already had New Year's sex, and boy, it was.....uh....sex) when one cold day in poacher lore, I heard a knock upon my door.

Nevermore said that raven!  Nevermore!

 An-ti-ci-paaaaaation.....is making me wait!

It was my good, semi-close personal friend, Vonnie.  Well, she wasn't going to be my sei-close, personal friend for too much longer.

"Hey, what's up?"
"Some asshole told my husband that he had seen me hanging out with another guy."
"Oh, that's not good."
"No.  He's had it in for me ever since I complained about him playing his music too loud.  I guess this was his shot at revenge."
"Is that what you told your husband?"
"Uh huh.  I just told him the guy wanted to hassle me.  I think he bought it.  But I don't want to take any chances."
"So this is it?"
"Yeah.  Sorry.  It's been a blast.  Thank you for everything."

She kissed me and then left.

No, I didn't buy that story.  Sure, it might've been true.  Or she might've wanted out--and a suspicious spouse (say that three times fast) is a sure way out of an affair--and didn't want me to try and talk her out of it.  Or maybe she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Honestly, though, any time a woman's wanted to end something with me, it's always been cool.  Affairs aren't supposed to last forever. You know that going in.

I saw her around the complex for another couple of months after we ended the best sex she ever had (LOL, I'm like funny and shit) and then I never saw her again.  I assumed they moved out.  I know that they were looking for a house, and maybe they found one.

I guess posting Vonnie's pics wouldn't be classified as "discreet", but oh well.  

Vonnie